Escorting an Escort Part 1

I've decided to start writing about a new experience I've been having lately. I'm sure many of you will have a hard time understanding this subject matter, so I implore you to keep an open mind. After all, it is my own open mind that led me to this situation in the first place.

About a week ago I was chatting online and I received a message from a guy. Basically it said he wasn't looking to meet that night, maybe the next day, but he was more interested in meeting potential new friends.

I was excited at the prospect, because I am also looking for friends since I just moved to New York. He never sent me any nude photos, but I did see that he had an incredibly beautiful, muscular body and such a handsome face.

We traded phone numbers and decided to contact each other the following day. Much to my surprise about an hour later he texted me and asked if I would meet him down the street in a public place. I agreed.

He was even hotter in person. We walked across the street to a neighborhood bar, walked in and discovered that it was entirely too crowded and very loud. So, we contemplated on where to go from there. But, the options were limited due to the time of night and the cold weather. Ultimately, we decided to pick up a bottle of vodka and go back to his place.

On the walk over I tried very hard to keep the conversation going. He was very quiet and answered my questions in one or two-word phrases. He explained in broken English (he speaks Spanish) that he's very shy, and because he's still learning English, he doesn't talk much.

I wasn't expecting what I heard next and I really don't think I had much of a reaction. But, I asked him what he does for a living. After a long pregnant pause he looked at me and said "I'm an escort."

I said "Really?" I remember thinking Great, does he think I'm going to pay for sex? He said he would normally never tell anyone that he's an escort, especially this early on. But, he felt compelled to be completely honest with me.

I followed "Marco" up to his apartment and sat at his table. He poured two vodka tonics, looked at me with his dark brown eyes and said "I normally don't drink."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"I had an accident about a year ago, fell and split open my head."

Marco grabbed my hand and placed it on his head to feel his scars. He explained that he had surgery about a year ago and that he has experienced chronic pain ever since. He said that the pain is so bad that it makes him miserable.

Even worse, he's afraid to take his prescription pain reliever because it prevents him from getting an erection. Marco is a top. If he can't get an erection, he can't work; he can't make money; he can't pay his rent.

Marco places my hand back on the table and cups it with his, looks deep into my eyes and catches an unwavering stare for what seemed like decades before he finally blinked. I could feel so much emotional power and pain in that one look. It brought tears to my eyes. It was one of the more profound experiences of my life.

He explained that he doesn't have any friends in the city, although he's been in New York for over three years. He doesn't have anyone to talk to; no one to have lunch with or see a movie with; no one to lounge around the house with and just laugh about silly things. The man has never heard of, nor has he ever seen a single episode of Golden Girls. Yeah, I know what you're thinking...he can't be gay! But, he is.

We finished half of our first drink before he grabbed my hand and sat me down on the bed. He took off his shirt and revealed his beautiful body and said "touch me."

How could I not? The man is hot.

He sat on the bed next to me and stared into my eyes while I massaged his chest, abs, shoulders. He talked more about his pain and told me that it hurts so much - even at the very moment. I told him to take his medication, that he doesn't have to worry about his erection since he doesn't have any clients the rest of the night.

But, he said he wouldn't be able to perform for me. I didn't care. I told him that sex wasn't necessary. I was more concerned about his pain.

He was so sweet. I could feel his emotional pain all over him. I asked him if he liked his work. He said that he likes it sometimes, but mostly it makes him feel lonely. For him, sex is just an act. It's a motion he goes through that he doesn't even think about.

So I laid my head on his chest and cuddled up next to him. He stroked my hair and kept my hand on his chest. He liked to be touched. He doesn't get touched, not in an endearing way at least.

He said he wanted to see my body, so he took off my shirt and ran his hands down my torso to my pants. Eventually we both laid there without clothes and just felt each other's bodies. It was an incredibly emotional experience. I knew that no one has ever taken the time to appreciate him for anything other than quick sex. So, I couldn't cross that barrier. I didn't want to treat him like every other trick that walks through his front door.

Later that night we ended up having sex. And, I must admit...there's a reason why men pay him. The boy is good. Really good. I told him he could kiss me. But, he was very reluctant to do so. Afterward, he asked me to stay the night. He wanted to fall asleep next to me. He said that no one has ever been so kind to him.

He also explained that any time he's ever told someone that he's an escort, they have never called him back. He said that no one wants to be his friend because of his job. I told him I would be his friend, that he being an escort is his business and that I have no right to judge him for it.

I could see that he wanted to cry. But, he held it back. It's apparent that he's been harboring emotions for many years. Given the chance, I'm sure the flood gates would open up and let loose a stockpile of anger, frustration, sadness and more.

I told Marco that I would not stay the night, not yet. So, I put on my clothes and he held me for a very long time. He said "I could be better with you around."

Those few words had such strong meaning for the both of us. I responded with "take your medication and get some sleep."

He said that if I would just text him the next day it would mean so much to him. Of course I obliged. I think he half expected me to never call him again, like all the other men he's tried to befriend in the past.

The next day I picked up the phone and texted him "I was glad to meet you. Lets get together again."

He replied "I'm free at 9 p.m. tonight."

Over the course of the next week, I've seen Marco several times and I've slept over, too. I've watched him wince in pain and refuse to take medication. I've watched him place an ice pack on his head since it tends to make him feel better. He's cooked me dinner and rubbed my shoulders. We've watched random things on TV while lying in bed together.

Every time I see him he opens up even more. Now, he smiles at me and his entire face brightens up. He laughs at my jokes. He's coming out of his shell. He's even beginning to trust me more. I helped him fix his cable TV issues. Since he doesn't communicate very well in English, he was frustrated about having to call customer service at Time Warner. Now, thank God, the boy has Bravo!

Now, he kisses me. He wraps his arms around me when I walk in the door, he smiles and he kisses me...over and over again. What's more...he surprised me with a random act of versatility. He said since the first night when I told him that I am quite versatile in bed, that he took the time to prepare himself to be a bottom for me. He said that he never bottoms and that he thought it would hurt. For all you bottoms out there - I know you're laughing. And for the rest of you skeptics - trust me...the boy is ALL TOP. And, it was increasingly apparent when I took the reigns that evening.

He texted me last night to tell me he wanted to see me. So, I went over to his place and we laid in bed together, watched some TV until his phone rang. A client was calling. I gestured to him that it was okay...to take care of his business and call me later.

He told me he wanted me to come back and sleep next to him.

I went home and passed out on the couch. I woke up early this morning and realized I missed a few messages from him. The last one read "Need you."

I'm sure that many things are going through your head right now. It's dizzying; the thought of "dating" an escort. It's taboo. It's crazy. You might even wonder how it could ever work. I really don't know the answer. I don't think I've given it too much thought. I'm a wing mender. I have to fix things all the time. And, for Marco, I want to breathe some life back into his heart. Every time I see him he seems happier. I can't take that away from him.

So, for now, I will continue to see Marco. I'll sleep over and hold him, rub his back and smile at him often. I'll do my best to make him feel loved and missed. I don't know how long this will last. This situation obviously doesn't fit into my master plan of getting married, buying a house together and living happily ever after.

But, life brings us all kinds of things we don't immediately understand. I won't argue with the moon and the stars. I'll just keep on keepin' on and see where this leads me.

I'll see Marco tonight, and I'll write more about our experiences soon.